Be Right or be Happy?

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions – Naguib Mahfouz

How is your year going so far? It’s good to from time to time review how things are going. And to have a look at how you can make the rest of this year even better.

So I’d like to share four valuable questions that I ask myself all the time to keep myself on track towards a better life. Maybe they are new to you. Or maybe they are just healthy reminders that can help you to focus your mind and actions once again.

1. How can I give value in this situation?

This is a great way to improve your relationships and interactions. Four awesome reasons to give value in your everyday life are:

  • It makes you feel awesome.
  • You tend to get what you give.
  • It makes your life a whole lot more fun.
  • It makes it easier to start new relationships and improve your old ones.

What value can you give in a situation/to another person? Well, a bunch of suggestions would be: bringing a positive attitude into situations, being kind, helping out in a practical way, lending a listening ear, cheering someone up, offering useful advice or creating a fun/exciting situation for people in your life.

2. Would I rather be right or be happy?

Right in this question means the need to judge, the need to be right while interacting with other people. It’s not just about the guy who can’t be wrong in a discussion though.

It’s about the thought that you don’t always have to be against people or things. You don’t have to exist in a “me against the world” or “me against someone” headspace. You don’t have to defend positions all the time or build walls. You can let go of the mentality that says “someday I’ll show them all!” that may be based in some sad stories from your youth. You can just relax, be cool and be with people instead of being against them in some subtle or not so subtle ways.

Feeling like you are right can bring some pleasure. But beyond that there is a lot more connection, happiness and positivity to be found. I like this question when I feel like I have to be right and judge. When I need to let go of inner trash. Or when I just have a feeling within that I should re-examine my current beliefs to move forward. I often find something helpful by doing so.

3. What is the most important thing I can do right now?

If you are lost in what to do next in your day, week or life, ask yourself this question. The answer might not always be what you want to hear because the most important thing is often one of the harder things you want to do too. But it can help you to check your priorities and stop you from getting lost in busy work and instead start tackling the really big stuff that will improve your life in any area in the long run.

4. What do I think is the right thing to do?

One of the hardest things to do in life is to do the right thing. What you think is the right thing. Not what your friends, family, teachers, boss and society thinks is the right thing.

What is the right thing? That’s up to you to decide. Often you have a little voice in your head that tells what the right thing is. Or a gut feeling.

Here are three reasons to do the right thing:

  • You tend to get what you give. I already mentioned this as a reason to give value (one of those things that I often think is right thing to do). By doing the right thing you tend to get the same things back. Give value to people, help them and they will often want to help you and give you value in some form. Not everyone will do it but many will. Not always right away but somewhere down the line. Things tend to even out. Do the right thing, put in the extra effort and you tend to get good stuff back. Don’t do it and you tend to get less good stuff back from the world.
  • To raise your self-esteem. This is a really important point. When you don’t do the right thing you are not only sending out signals out into your world. You are also sending signals to yourself. When you don’t do the right thing you don’t feel good about yourself. You may experience emptiness or get stuck in negative thought loops. It’s like you are letting yourself down. You are telling yourself that you can’t handle doing the right thing. To not do the right thing is a bit like punching yourself in the stomach.
  • To avoid self-sabotage. A powerful side effect of not doing the right thing is that you give yourself a lack of deservedness. This can really screw up you and your success. If you don’t do the right thing in your life then you won’t feel like you deserve the success that you may be on your way towards or experiencing right now. So you start to self-sabotage, perhaps deliberately or through unconscious thoughts. By doing the right thing you can raise your self-esteem and feel like a person who deserves his/her success.

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